Weight A Minute: Bikini Season

Date: 6/13/17

Weight: Down 115 pounds

What scary words…bikini season. Honestly I can say I’ve never looked forward to that. Not only have I hid from swimsuits most of my life (I’ve been a shorts & a tank top sort of gal), I only just started wearing tank tops in public in the past few years.

I’ve spent so much time hating my body and being ashamed. So afraid of what other people think. But I’ve been slowly learning….who cares?! I’m sure it’s part getting older and part working on my body confidence to get more and more to a level where I just do what I want without worrying what other people will think about my body doing it.

I used to never show my arms because I thought they were too big. I never wore shorts because my legs were too lumpy. I never wore nail polish or wore “cute” clothes because I didn’t think I deserved to. I thought that was something only meant for thin pretty girls.

Slowly, like years slowly, I’ve been working on becoming more confident and to love the body I’m in no matter what other people think about it. But please don’t think I’ve achieved body confidence zen yet!

I think that’s also a misconception of weight loss. People think when you lose weight that you magically get rid of the insecurities you’ve had forever and you’re just ready to rock that new bod. If that’s happened to you, congrats! I’m still working on it. And that’s healthy I think. Every day I try to be a little bit better. I think for all of us, especially women, we’re always going to look at our bodies and see something we don’t like. I wish that weren’t true, but let’s be real here, we’re our own worst enemy sometimes.

I always try to keep one foot out of my comfort zone, so I bought a bikini this year. I work really hard, and I want to feel confident in it. I’m working on it.

I created an Instagram account to kind of pair with this blog. This is what I posted yesterday:

“To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.” – Alan Cohen

I’ve spent my whole life feeling negative about my body. I work so hard everyday to try to love myself a little bit more and be more confident…some days work out better than others.

I bought this bikini and felt awesome about it in the dressing room, but as soon as I wore it in public this past weekend I started wondering if other people were judging me….thinking I was too big to wear it, the loose skin on my legs looked too gross, my cellulite couldn’t be unseen. But then I thought…it’s not about everyone else’s negative thoughts. That’s nothing I can change anyway.

It’s about me taking steps every day to love myself, and love my body…no matter what it looks like in this bikini. So, here’s a step, a public photo of my body in a bikini. I like this photo. I feel confident in this photo. A small taste of heaven.

You can see that picture here: Weight A Minute Instagram

I guess what I’m getting at is…if you’re feeling less than perfect this “bikini season” …maybe you should go for it anyway. What are we waiting for? “Next year…” Why not try loving yourself a little more today? Let’s not get hung up on what other people think, let’s do it for us 🙂