Top three things men lie to women about.
1. Tell me about your day. Men don’t want to hear about your day; they don’t. Unless you’re an international spy or Angelina Jolie’s nanny, there’s really nothing interesting we find about your work day being miserable because Becky from Accounting stole your yogurt from the company fridge and she’s sabotaging your weight loss efforts. Not all women participate in this type of recall process when talking about their day–so this doesn’t apply to them, but the one’s who do–and you know who you are–stop it. Instead of work, keep the topic light and refreshing, save the drama for your mama. (And by mama, I mean the therapist you’re seeing three times a week) It’s a known fact, women are more detailed oriented than men. Women will quickly zero-in on the fingernail grime on a man as well as the out-of-date hairstyle he’s been sporting since college, so it’s no surprise they want to dive in and divulge every single detail when asked, “So, how was your day?” It’s small talk, it’s breaking the ice and men shouldn’t really ask, but men aren’t all that bright, we read one article in GQ during freshman year in collage and consider that our dating bible. Instead, lead the conversation elsewhere and keep two things in mind, don’t say it all, and what you do say, keep it interesting.
2. After the first date; I’ll call you tomorrow. How do I soften this blow, ladies? He’s not going to call you back. Ever. Really. And it’s okay. Stop wasting time replaying things in your mind, don’t call your friends to help you “Carrie Bradshaw” the situation; just move on. Timing is a major component to dating–especially on the first date. In your head it was lovely, romantic, and you were fascinated with the conversation–but for him, it was boring, he’d rather be masturbating to the latest latex-centered porn involving a Countess named Dita or calling his grandmother for more stimulating conversation. But for fear of being called a jerk on the first date, he’s polite and allows you to steer the conversation back to work. Too much pressure is put on the first date and it’s about time we let the air out. Create an intent for the first date that consists of 3 main principles. One, I will go on this date to have fun, enjoy myself, and to show off my “I’m too sexy for this dress (and Spanx)” vibe/attitude. Two, I will equally contribute to the dates success and keep in mind I’m here to have fun, not fall in love or bring out my mental check list and cross off items that my date does or doesn’t have. And three, I will not attach myself to an outcome other than “having fun”. If you keep this in mind–and he never calls, you’ll be fine in the morning because your mission was accomplished.
3. Sure, I’ll still respect you if we sleep together on the first date. The issue isn’t even about him respecting you, it’s about you respecting you. When that testosterone is pumping, and trust me, it pumps hard, men will say whatever it takes to get you in bed. And some women might be on board with the “it was just a one-night stand and I’m fine with it” so this doesn’t apply to them–this applies to the women who are genuinely hurt when they don’t hear back from the suave guy from last night that did that awesome thing with his pinky finger and that rotating tongue move. It wasn’t anything you did and there’s nothing that could have prevented it–but just as women “know” within seconds if they see a future with a man after the initial meeting–men also have their “sex-sense” about them and will calculate their next move within seconds. Whether it’s, “I can see myself on another date with her” or “Good Lord, how much longer until this is over?” to the ever popular, “See looks like she’s good in bed, I think I’ll go for it”. The first date shouldn’t be about sex; it should focus on getting to know one another and seeing if there’s a connection.
Ladies, what else did I leave out?