The value of bird poop that resembles Michael Jackson is … nothing, it turns out, but a Chicago man posted it on eBay with an asking price of $500, “One of two things will happen,” said Brandon Tudor, 29, before the auction closed with no bids today. “It will go for an astronomical amount or I’ll get nothing.” But he swears that “everybody loves” the poop art. Tudor says he was driving on a freeway when the fecal matter struck his Cadillac Seville’s windshield—and he spotted the resemblance right away. He claims it was even more noticeable “after it hardened.” So he posted the auction (which included the car’s complete windshield) with this in his sales pitch: “Are you obsessed with Michael Jackson and want that unique piece no other collector will ever have? Does his spirit live on?